The Wilds Pack

UHHH right what's even been happening. I don't really have any cool video game updates rn except that I messed with Mortis' Pikachu breedfile textures to make these lil guys for fun:



( click to read about some media stuff, flat/housing situation update, etc. warning for cult mentions )

i was gonna talk a lot more in this but some stuff happened in a server i'm in and now i can't be bothered kjfndkjfng. i'll keep it to the pokemon/petz stuff only for now

tldr Rin came up with a challenge for Pokemon that I can't be bothered explaining the rules of properly but the tldr is if you want to catch something in Pokemon, you have to hex it, and it HAS to be before the next gym - the rules are pretty loose so for me I sometimes catch stuff if I consider it a potential hexing candidate or a REALLY pretty pokemon (because the pokemon and their colours are all randomized with... a randomizer) and just shove it in a box somewhere

it's been really fun and although I'm starting to lose steam for it a little because of the tediousness of hexing, I've made some pretty cool stuff and caught some neat pokemon I really jive with!
( click to see the team! )

apparently its just a really blurry day i guess. thought we were just fatigued after the younger version being around earlier. then realised it was me. weird to go days (weeks?) without switching much at all, then to multiple times in a day. i'm tired. gonna bury myself in a project or two. or play more games, either one.

talking as just bard is really hard like this though. it's both of us (probably more than just us) but mostly me, hal, so it's an effort to be... bard-like. weirdly harder than when it's just me, because if it's just me, bard isn't there influencing me. dont know if that makes sense but also i'm too tired to care

i have a lot of things to add to the site i was working on a few months (weeks?) back but don't know if i can do coding when my head is full of static like this.

vibing with angels and ghosts lately. probably should've known that we'd end up like this eventually - we completely forgot that i vibe with ghosts at all (though in fairness, so does 'jon', so its not like its a surefire sign of me coming around).

reminded that the other day on the phone, bard had to talk about some of us for a bit. and didn't really know how to describe me, which... yeah, i don't either. i don't know what i'm 'for' except that i'm fatigued most of the time and tend to work through it. that's literally it. "tired and doesn't make an effort with conversation" isn't much of a personality.

howdy! this might be an image-heavy post probably... that sentence is as far as i got into this entry before my head started pounding and i had to go get myself some coffee before the headache and fatigue really hit full force akjnsdjng. really hate that i can't like, sit down and focus on doing anything that involves any kind of structuring (like this entry sort of will) without caffeine of some kind. anyway

not gonna bother with any life updates in this entry; they're boring and tedious and i have enough thinking about 'em to do as is! so instead you get petz update: horse chronicles edition.

as a kid, i never really got into the horse files available at the time; they moved weird and kind of looked weird too, and i didn't like any files that weren't play-friendly. plus, although i liked seeing different horse breeds irl and identifying them (same with any animal - one of my weird obsessions as a kid was just, animal breeds for some reason), i wasn't that into petz horses as a concept. now though, there are some REALLY impressive horse files available - most of which are huge, which makes them pretty hard to play with unless they're foals or you're in the fullscreen playpen rather than a normal (smaller) playscene. i looked into them last year when i first got back into petz, went "eh, not for me, too big and not play friendly, and i'd be no good at hexing them"... and now here we are.

i'm a petz horse girl now, guys. there's this old forum for petz horses that's more or less dead now, but i joined it anyway just in case people are still around on it... i'm probably going to see about making a lil side-site for my horses off of Shipwreck (my main petz site) cause that'd be fun. the problem is just finding good layouts, graphics, and so on. building Shipwreck has taught me what I DON'T want to do again though - namely, i am NEVER doing the thing again where i have a billion links in each sidebar that i then need to edit on EVERY SINGLE PAGE ON THE SITE if i need to make changes to said sidebar. never again. i'll have a sidebar on some of the main pages, and use a back button for the others. fuck it.

i really just love the idea of having really 'official' looking sites to show off virtual pets, i don't know why. something i can hyper-organise nicely; a kennel, cattery and stable for the more 'realistic' petz breeds... ofc, most PC members who get into that kind of thing also get into showing and competitions and such, but that's not really of interest to me (especially not with horses - the whole culture in the horse forum is very intense to me... you have to ask people for permission to breed any petz you got from them and make their offspring, and sometimes they'll require you to have gotten your horse a certain show ranking and such. it's basically unheard of in the rest of the PC! it's not bad, just intense and too much work for someone like me). i'm no good at graphics either which--similar to the babyz forums--is a big part of the horse culture thing too... with my own site though, i don't need to worry about that!

the hardest part, really, will be that i will have SO many plans for little stories and character building etc, and then i probably won't ever write them. i always feel that my writing won't be good enough, and there's no point uploading it if it's bad, because Oh No What If People Think I'm A Bad Writer... i vaguely remember that Max wanted to write some stuff on his own site the other day about one of his petz, but my self-consciousness kind of rendered him unable to since we were largely cofronting. rip. or honestly maybe it was just him feeling self conscious, i have no idea.

anyway, here's some pictures of my horses...
( click for more horses )

I wanted my first entry here to be something super thoughtful and insightful, like my thoughts on how badly the Raft devs fucked up their game's story with the recent big update... which is a topic I could definitely rant about for a long time

Buuut today is, like many other days, a headache day! So I might not be very coherent after all. I spent some time playing Raft with a friend and restarted my Animal Crossing island. Its always hard to start games for me because I get stuck on names - nothing fits me as an individual AND nothing fits me as a system of multiple parts. I eventually just picked Bard though.

One of the biggest problems with ACNH is that if you don't like decorating and terraforming there's not much to do. I wish the decorating was easier outside in particular. I would like to have a farm area and some other areas but I just don't really have the energy or interest to spend time making them with AC's janky decorating.

What else, what else... Lola was around earlier today I think. I don't talk about her much but she's one of my fragments - I think she might be older than I initially thought she was, or possibly an age slider, because she definitely feels like an older teen/young adult lately instead of a young teen. I really hope I can find a creative outlet for her sometime. Even if it's just something like... Me coming up with some stories for her OCs or something. I try my best to let all my parts have self expression in some form, but it's hard when I am the way I am.

Max was around a couple days ago which was really nice though. I've missed him a lot. Its always hard to tell where I end and he begins in some ways but I still know when he's not there, and it bothers me.

Anyway! I've mostly just been playing petz and other games, and messing with 4dopt. I have lots of ideas for my 4dopts but I don't have the energy or ability to do anything with them, so mostly I just put stuff into folders and Think About Them a whole lot. I played through Resident Evil 5 with a friend recently and was surprised by how much I liked it. I didn't think I would at all. And my friend is good company.

My headache is getting worse so I'm gonna peace out for now. I hope I can make more friends on here.